Burgerphone

I have been gifted a sewing machine!  I need the practice so that I can begin making all of our clothes and cell phone cases.  Any ideas for what I should start with?  Here’s what I was thinking:

• Curtains
• art smock
• apron
• dress for the dog
• human centipede
• napkins made from tea towels

Message me with any ideas for something easy to start with!

dog pillow from apartment therapy

Please note that I’ve only seen the 30-second spot, but could only find the longer version to share.  It does have some new Big Dan moments, but I still stand by him.

Because it’s one of probably two commercials that play during Hulu+ breaks, my associate and I have seen the Ford Speed dating commercial 100 times (or more!  I’m not really counting).  In the commercial, a cute blonde woman who looks like Meghan McCain encounters Big Dan (a sports nut), some guy who looks like Marc Maron and seems like an obsessive person and terrible boyfriend, and a geek (he has a time machine or something).  But the last guy is just some dude who puts keys on the table and he drives a Ford.  Cue talk about looking at Fords.  There is no follow up so we don’t know what happens to her/him/Fords (unlike that terrible, horrible serialized cat food commercial that ends with a cat at her owner’s wedding.  Those commercials makes me want to vom. On cats, during weddings).

But what’s so wrong with Big Dan?  We’ve come around on him, and think he’s not so bad.

Here’s how it goes:

He greets her with a fist bump and says “I thought this was sports trivia night. Turns out it’s speed dating.  Alright.”  Which means: he is open to new things, he’s friendly and casual, and honest about his mistakes.  He also likes to get out of the house and do things like sports trivia.

“Did you know these pretzels are free?” He’s frugal!  He wants you to enjoy pretzels.

“Do you play fantasy football?” He would like to play fantasy football with you!  Or, during football season, you basically have Sundays to yourself.  Your father and/or brothers are probably also into football, so they have that in common.  They could maybe play fantasy football together.  He also isn’t into traditional gender stereotypes, so in his mind it’s not unusual that a woman would be interested in a male-dominated hobby based on a sport.

What do we really know about the guy who puts his keys and phone on the table?  We know that he owns keys, that’s what.  You know who else owns keys – Big Dan!  Tell him that you’re shopping for cars, he’s probably really happy to talk about that.  You don’t know he doesn’t own a Ford.  You know why? Because he owns pockets and doesn’t put his crap all over the table.  And because YOU didn’t ask him.  We don’t even know that those keys belong to that guy.  He probably thought it was a key party and took them from someone.  I don’t trust him.  He didn’t even ask if the pretzels were free.

PS — In the longer commercial, Big Dan asks why she doesn’t have a boyfriend (could be a compliment? He looks really happy that she doesn’t) and burps — but because he just ate tacos!  Yay, tacos!