December 2005


1988, 1998, and 2005. Post-undergrad hard livin’ has made a tough woman out of me.

I made no real plans for Saturday or Sunday so I decided to make Saturday CLEANING DAY and Sunday BAKING DAY! Hooray. I mean, right now, sitting in piles of my own filth, I don’t find it that exciting. Knowing that I was going to spend the day cleaning, I spent the previous week making my apartment as messy as possible, as if it was a contest. And I won.

What the hell is this crap?

I forget about cheeseburgers sometimes. I can get one, and two hours later think, “Man, it’’s been four months since I’’ve had a burger.” Sometimes the memory on the burger phone gets wiped out by a steak. The last few that I’ve had (that I remember) have all been awesome.

After what may have been four months of not seeing Joey, or at least not seeing him while we had cheeseburgers, he and I went to 821 for dinner. It was a place we went to when we were VCU students and would meet after or before, but most likely during, classes. He may have been there when I had the realization that 821 is amazing for burgers.

I like cheeseburgers, well done, with American cheese. I like fries. I added a house salad with their very tasty basil-vinaigrette. That meal was like a scene in a movie where a couple makes love and the woman starts to cry from joy. It was that good. At some point during the meal I did put my head on the plate and sob.

A couple weeks later I brought my cousins John and Chris to eat there, claiming they had the best cheeseburgers in Richmond. My original claim was 4th St Diner, but I always expect to die there after a meal, or at least find a pubic hair on my glass. My cousins are under the impression that Richmond is a haven for thievery and murder. Which it is, but it doesn’t mean we don’t eat well while running scared. After much doubt, they did admit delicious defeat. We went downtown to the James Center and looked at the lights. We had a few minutes of deer jokes before we went back home to watch “Scrubs” until the midnight showing of “Shaun of the Dead” at the Byrd.

Last week Thara and I had a night of bootleg “Veronica Mars,” and got a couple burgers at Five Guys, which gave me heartburn and made my stomach noisy the entire time. But with burgers, “heartburn” and “heartwarming” are the same thing. Five Guys has a board with all these “Hooray for FIVE GUYS” and “My boyfriend and I love the menu, DON’T CHANGE IT” messages and drawings posted. Thara and I suggested a few to make and post, like “I put out for Five Guys” and “It’s not date rape if it starts at Five Guys.”

Season 2 is just as good so far. The boring characters from last season are more fleshed out and likeable, and this bus crash scandal can have as much potential as the murder case. Now Thara has a clear UPN connection, so we can finish the season in more style than cramped on my couch in front of the computer. When we finished the Season 2 “VMs” that Sumo sent me, we watched R Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet.” Which is more amazing, that she owns it, or that I was able to take it off my Netflix queue? It is so dramatic and awful, but incredibly entertaining (she gave it five stars, I gave it four).

Yesterday afternoon my mom and I were shopping in Harrisonburg, and I was uncomfortable the entire time. The crowds, the driving, being tired, and having a sore back from working all week made me grumpy and feeling fluish. We went to Applebees in Hburg and both had the house sirloins, which immediately pepped me up. I love steak, and I love my parents for always letting me order steak. I don’t want to promote a chain restaurant, but I like Applebees.

I should probably lay off the burgers. But that just leaves me wanting Thai food. And pizza. And Indian. I’m hungry right now.


While we were flipping through channels he stopped on an old Christmas special on CMT. Featuring:

“Grandpa Jones”
dad- “Dead.”
“Chet Atkins.”
dad- “Dead.”
“Vince Gill”
dad- “Dead to me.”