March 2008


My favorite thing about wordpress is that you can see what terms people searched for and how that led them to your site (because, seriously, unless you know me or really want updates about electric herb gardens, there’s nothing notable about the old burgerphone). My favorite search, which has appeared multiple times, is “fancy feast commercial song.” I don’t know what that is, or that there is even a song. I think the “meow meow meow meow” tune was for Meow Mix. Fancy Feast probably has classical music in the background.

A recent comment from a stranger about my goat post confirms that I am not a kook and that others have seen the goat! Using her same search that led her to me brought up this article from Style Weekly. I love it. Though it did make me wonder, why would you call the government if you spotted a goat? Sure, it’s the first thing I mention to my associate when I get home, but I wouldn’t call the cops about it.

I feel righteous. Moving along, I bet everyone $5 that in the next six months we’ll hear a news story about a police department using Wiis to catch criminals. They’ll have witnesses make Miis of the suspects. You’ll probably have to watch the “Today Show” or listen to the “hey, check this shit out” blurb on NPR before the news begins on the half hour to hear a story like that.

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Also, Elizabeth and Anthony are engaged???  And Jeff Healey died!!!

I just caught the latest “For Better or for Worse” news from Nichole/read old issues of Entertainment Weekly supplied by my mom.

Wowee, right? I have no idea what to do with all of it. Basil gets cut and put in the freezer for later. I used some mint and oregano for dinner last night. But what’s parsley good for again? I fed it to the cat, oddly enough. Take that, Kelly From One Month Ago.

Here’s some background info: I am not some nut who sees animals. Though it has been confirmed that my spirit animal is a squirrel. Which I hate.

For the last five years I have had to cross the James River to get to work. For the first year I traveled north down Powhite Parkway, and crossing the bridge I sometimes thought I saw a goat in the morning. It’s not impossible that a stray goat would be on the hillside. Maymont Park is only a mile or so away from there, although it’s otherwise a residential area. I wasn’t sure how to research the goat potential of upperclass neighborhoods next to large rivers. I like to keep that sort of information to myself about things that probably aren’t real (although the white squirrels were really a thing).

A couple years later I started to see the goat again, and since a few of my coworkers at that time also drove to Northside, I finally got the courage to talk about it. Basically they said “there’s no goat” and one woman will pity me and say “I’m still looking for that goat!” It’s embarrassing. I do have one work buddy who also thinks she saw it, and if she changes her story I will die.

True, if you do some Internet sleuthing you’ll find that I have been wrong in the past. At first glance I do confuse all roadkill , such as groundhogs, for beavers or small bears. My sister still makes fun of me because of the raccoon-rigor mortis incident of ’96. I think I made her drive back with me to see it, but by then it was flat and not standing like a stuffed grizzly bear, as I had originally claimed.

Anyway. I see a goat sometimes. I don’t want to, but I do. For a few weeks I thought maybe it was just a white rock, but it’s not. It’s a goat.

Also, everyone will be asking me how you figure out your spirit animal. You take the one animal you’re often compared to. And that’s it.

I’m shifting my drug store business to Walgreens. I think the place is strange and charming. I’m sure I’ll find out the owner is a nut or that 8-year-olds make all the products, but until then I like to wander the aisles, pondering 2/$5 sweatpants — or “walsweats,” as they’re probably branded. I might think about it. It’s such a bargain. Also: the Walbrand Vitamin Water is calorie free.

I have gross pots and pans. Actually, they might be nice, but they’re hard to clean. While cleaning up my bread pans, which my associate used for making delicious roast chickens, I came up with a line of heavy duty cookware called Panzig. Hmm. I thought that was a lot funnier last night. Heavy metal pans.

Also, did anyone catch Wilco on “Saturday Night Live”? When did John Stirratt completely morph into the dad from “Boy Meets World”?Wilco on Christie's flickr