Richard received a letter the other day from a nature conservatory group that enclosed “Your Hummingbird name and address labels!”  I got excited and opened it.  Though a federal offense to open his mail (which he informed me of as he watched), I just wanted to know his hummingbird name.  I thought it would be an assignment based on demographics, similar to a birthstone or state beverage (Virginia’s is milk).  Richard deserves a cool hummingbird name, like the Ruby-throated Fwapper or the Gnat Slapper.*  Turns out I broke the law for nothing.  Richard doesn’t have a hummingbird name, he just has name and address labels with hummingbirds on them.  Whatever.  Stupid nature clubs. 

This story has no significance (unless Burgerphone fans want to know what happens to me as soon as I get home in the evenings), I’m just interested in seeing the internet search terms that lead to this posting. 


*As identified in “Kelly Doesn’t Know Anything about Birds: A Field Guide.”