I appreciate value, especially now since fur and caviar prices are through the roof! What’s a fancy pants like me to do?

I have cut back. I only have steak dinners twice a week. I feed Ely and Milhouse once a month. I make Richard take showers using the hose out back while he waters my tomato plant at the same time (more on that — why did my mom give me a tomato plant? Does she hate tomatoes? DOESN’T SHE KNOW I WILL KILL IT? Remember those plastic electronic flowers with sunglasses that danced when you clapped? That died on me and that’s not even a living thing. I watered it too much, I guess), and I hotwire and steal other people’s cars to drive to work and save on gas. But I attempted to add a little value to the grocery store trip and I can’t help but feel burned.

Let me be your lesson to you: Don’t buy the Kroger brand version of Frosted Mini Wheats Strawberry Delight. Although it saves a $1 from the original, it’s not the same delight. It’s delite.