October 2008

“‘The Wire’ was always a bit like a bad relationship. It required an inordinate amount of commitment and emotional investment. Some of our friends didn’t get it, and we thought less of them as a result. It broke our hearts over and over and we crawled back for more. But when it was good, whew … it was so good. ” — Joshua Alston, Newsweek

How can I be grumpy in a world where I can watch this at any time? Watch or don’t watch this clip from “Om Shanti Om,” but there is a delightful badminton scene at 3:20.

1. The lack of title reform in America.  If the great-great-great-grandson of a collector from a Civil War hospital comes collecting for a medical judgment against a former owner of my (contract pending) property, I will hit him in the old face with a shovel.  I thought that “you snooze, you lose” was the foundation on which our government was founded.  It’s like zombie debt (when someone forces you to take old debt that you don’t own) but on houses!  Haunted House Debt!

2. The cost of moving.  I’m tired and sad to keep asking people to help me move, but the cost of getting professionals is so high (for me). Be warned, strong friends, we might be calling on you.

3. Tipping.  Okay, I’m a grouch, but how is it on me that a company doesn’t pay its employees enough?  Waitstaff excluded, of course.  Am I a bad person that I don’t think that every line of work that involves face-to-face service deserves an additional payment?  Who is supposed to get tips and how much?  If I have to tip the movers 20%, does that mean I should tip my dental hygienist, too?  She has to keep her hands in my mouth for a long time.  I haven’t been in a profession where I relied on tips, so I don’t know what it’s like.   I feel guilty and like I’m a heartless, unreasonable person for even complaining about this.  Economic crisis, you guys, I’m trying to spend 20% less.

4. Trick-or-treating.  Actually, I will withhold this to keep everyone from falling out of love with me.

Congrats to my sister Chicken Sandwich E-Mail* and Ranger Doug on their engagement! I have always wanted a brother-in-law!

*okay, that’s not her name, but I’m keeping with a theme here.

Make sure that cookies are enabled on your browser.

I’ll enable the cookies on your browser.

Sometimes I think that cookies aren’t even ENABLED on your browser.

Hon?  The cookies?  Did you enable them on your browser?

Wait — did you enable the cookies on your browser like I said?

No, Bowser was something different.

There are cookies on your blazer.

(this is nonsense, btw, i got a handout at work with the instructions “make sure cookies are enabled on your browser” and I couldn’t think of any way to explain that to someone who doesn’t use the internet but also someone who uses the internet).

We have approached the first part of the mortgage/house buying process with an unusual (for us) amount of faith and trust in the representatives who were  recommended to us. Compared to what I expected, things haven’t been that bad, though I imagine that if we were buying and selling it would be more stressful and confusing. Now we are in the technical part where we are feeling a little like everyone who we loved so much before is now putting us on.

My home-owning buddies already know, but there are things that exist that you can get for your home that shouldn’t exist at all. The title protection is probably a good thing, but it seems like it would save everyone trouble and money to change title laws. Ugh, is this experience going to make me a lobbyist? Things like this keep piling on. I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re required to get a bikini inspection or get a brochure for leprechaun maintenance.

We did however spend the $689 to protect our fuelperks! so that any other Ukrop’s Valued Customers who have occupied the property before us aren’t able to claim our discount as theirs. That just makes sense.

Part of me wants to update/link to/share wedding plans and possible ideas, but when I tell myself that it’s time to get serious about something like dresses or photography or writing letters to everyone I had a crush on (i.e, every boy in the fifth grade at J.B. Fisher while I was in the fourth grade) to tell them that I’ve moved on, I end up just updating my good reads account and forget to make plans.  Also the idea of everyone staring at me while I walk into a room wearing a fitted dress makes me want to throw up from nerves.

Before my friend Laura Ann was married she wrote, “I hope I accidentally get served two pieces of cake at my wedding.”  That basically sums up my wedding wishes.   It’s not that I’m not super-excited.  I get to marry my roommate, how great is that? It’s just that reading about thrifty and unique weddings on various blogs makes me less interested in planning my own.   I just want it to come down to two things: I want to get married at some point that evening, and I want to eat cheese and crackers nonstop.

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