June 2009

I think it’s a side effect from watching “The Today Show” every morning and being subjected to Ryan O’Neal (though I believe that TDS only made such a stink over Farrah Fawcett because they had exclusive access to her).

I’m probably not a bad person.  But this week I have been worried that I don’t find as much joy in things as I do in the things that make fun of those things.  For instance:

The Superficial is the first place I check when I get home from work.  I like the Hater the best of all the AV Club sections.  And I actually did a Google search to make sure something like this existed:

Keep calm and carry on somewhere else.  I have to go listen to “Thriller” in my car.

I wanted to link the video for Weird Al’s “Fat” but he won’t let me.  However, I recommend you find it and listen to it.  Weird Al in the morning gets me pumped to go to work.  Ham on!



I have inexplicably picked up a Southwestern Virginian accent at work.  I have to talk a lot on my job (like, a lot, and considering that I am a horrible speaker it’s hard for me to believe that’s how I make a living) and late in the day my tongue gets fat and I either hit a stride and sound like a very well-prepared recording, or I turn into a stuttering mess.  I have a hard time fighting this accent that is not true to me at all, but it just seems natural.  It makes me sound super friendly.  I can’t tell if I should try to keep it from happening, because I am afraid that I will talk like that forever.  It doesn’t happen anywhere else, though.  When the accent kicks in I feel like I have things to say about VDOT and rural routes.

In other news, there was a hummingbird in my backyard the other day.  I have set unicorn bait.  There is all sorts of prettiness in my garden with the mystical birds, vegetables growing, butterflies — all that fancy crap.  It is a source of endless pride, although I am only responsible for a small part of it.


Also, I reluctantly agreed to get rid of my orange couch.  I loved that old thing.  I bought it from Ikea years ago, and it served me well in my apartment by myself.  I thought I would get emotional seeing it go (I cry during Verizon commericials, it’s not unlikely that I would cry over a couch). I even wrote an obituary for it, and wanted to get all of my pals to write down their greatest memories from that couch (we all watched “Amar Akbar Anthony” on that thing.  I cooked you dinner at some point, that’s where I sat while we g-chatted in 2005).  It was my dining room table, the setting for my afternoon nap, the first piece of furniture I bought on my own.  But as we dragged it to the shed I could see the years of matted Milhouse fur and the busted fabric peeling off the seat, and I suddenly didn’t feel bad knowing it would end up in the alley.  So much for sentimentality.  Suck it, youth.  We bought a couch from La Diff!

A before and after of my garden:

sabre tooth cat


So I dug up some mammoth tusks and put in some tomatoes.  Centuries of work!

Gross, it’s summer soon.  That means many things: Richard in cut-offs, Nichole prepares to leave Richmond for grad school in Pittsburgh (which is both exciting/making me miserable), and I try to fill up weekends doing incredible things since I don’t get a summer vacation.  I will celebrate the end of my third decade by going to San Francisco, but that’s months away.  Until then, I have these things to look forward to:

“True Blood” season two. Emily agreed to let us demand she have us over to watch it.  Richard and I watched so many episodes of season one in a few days.  I’m not even sure how much of the show I like.  I think it’s supposed to be funny.  Tara and Lettie Mae are my favorite.  I also like Eric a lot because the actor played my favorite character in “Generation Kill” and he sort of looks like Neil Patrick Harris, which helps me not miss “How I Met Your Mother” as much.  OH ROBIN!  trueblood31

Watching my garden grow and then later die. I love it!  I went out this morning and stared at everything I planted (plus what I’m sure are weeds but can’t remember, so I haven’t pulled them yet).  It’s crazy how much things grow during the day.  There was nothing this morning and this evening there were four more teeny tomatoes bustin’ loose off the vines.  Who has green thumbs and also two thumbs?  This girl! (imagine me pointing my thumbs at myself).

Everyone inviting me over on the weekends. Right, guys?  Brooklyn! Baltimore! Virginia Beach! Church Hill!  Call on me, and we will bring leftover wedding wine and potential good times.

Possibly finishing a book this isn’t just a Glamour magazine hidden inside of a larger book. I used to read all of the time, but now I can’t finish anything.  I am working slow and steady through “Sons of Mississippi” on my lunch break, and just a few weeks from finishing “Letters to Wendy’s”  Really all I want to do is read Toni Morrison novels and Cooks Illustrated.  I have also started to do this weird thing where instead of reading I sit in bed and stare at the ceiling with the light on.  I don’t know why.

It’ll be a long, hot summer.  I’ll be inside if you guys need me, staring at my garden with the web cam I set up (it is hot and there are bugs in the backyard).

Having a record player in the house has been the best.  At our last place we had three broken turntables between the two of us.  I had had the same one since I was eight and decided to toss it out when we moved.  I missed records!  Our new player sounds awesome.  Years ago I bought a lot of records because they were cheap and also because I was stuffing the bra of my music collection.  But now I’m grown up.  So, kudos to you, Younger Kelly, for purchasing The Monkees’ “Headquarters.”  It’s pretty good and I didn’t know it until now.

dollhouse(photo by Alicia.  I haven’t thought about the dollhouse in ages.  Now my heart hurts.  I hope whoever took it from the alley behind our old house gifted it to someone who liked it)

Other developments of note:

-The new Phoenix record is as good as everyone says.

-I have a tiny green tomato growing out back.  It made my heart swell with pride.  I created life!  Take that, God!  And mothers!  And J.J. Abrams!


-“Drag Me to Hell” was so fun.  I’m proud of you, Sam Raimi.  There was a 10 month-old-baby in the theatre with us, no joke.  He cried through a lot of it, but to be fair, he hadn’t seen “Evil Dead 2,” so really wasn’t able to appreciate where the humor was coming from.

-Richard is trying to get everyone to use “jack nugget” as the newest insult.  Try it next time you drive 95 North and see how it works for you.