November 2009


It has become apparent that unless I actually leave the country from November through Mid-January, I have no control over what I do throughout the holidays.  Well, suck it, family — you can make me celebrate the same holiday eight times over in one week but you can’t take away my annual “How I Met Your Mother” marathons.

It started four years ago when I lived in Northside.  I watched the first season and guffawed into my bowl of mac and cheese while whatever food I brought to Thanksgiving was cooking in the kitchen in anticipation of not being eaten by anyone.  Now I have season 4 to put me into what holiday spirit I can scrape together.  Although the packaging, title menu, and music are horrible.  And there are typos in the synopses.  I think I accidentally bought this DVD at an Indian food festival in Chester.

 

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I have decided to quit my job to criticize “The Today Show” full time.  But to supplement the zero income that I will make from that I have decided to keep my job.

Nevermind why we watch it every morning.  Occasionally I chuckle at Matt Lauer or (swoon) Brian Williams* when he guest hosts.  When it comes to things like Olympics-mania and setting up tasteless jokes for Al Roker, “Today” is the best.  But generally it’s a cause for alarm, or a comment on commentary (I can’t remember if it was “Today” or “Inside Edition” that has supposed experts watching TV on screen and then giving a professional opinion.  I can do that, too!).  And Meredith Viera just seems mean now. Give Matt a break, woman.  No one wants to be there any less than he does.

If you get “Today” down to a bare minimum it’s only two mirrors facing each other and in the center is a seven-year-old who was mauled by a bear, or a celebrity whose source of fame is suspect.  And they both have swine flu.  And when they covered the Fort Hood shootings the other week it wasn’t because it was actual news, it was because Valerie Bertinelli had already been on that week and they had some time to spare. Oh, “Today.”  Mostly I tune it out but I pass by our TV on the way to the coffee pot.  I do like to shout “CHUCK TODD!” whenever his name is said, though.  And who doesn’t love Ann Curry?

* I think my husband is okay with my devotion (or as devoted one can be without watching “Nightline”) to Brian Williams.  His segment the other week on “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” was so funny.  Britunes!  It’s a thing! Check the link!

As a boring, old person I care about these things now.  This means my garden officially needs me to ignore it for a couple of months (this is a fact from the gardening book that I’m writing).  Hello, frozen grass.  Goodbye, watering and dead-heading.

My sister and I went to Ikea the other day and I stocked up on Christmas decorations.  I know that in the past I have punched Christmastime in the face, but this year I will give it a go.  I’ll put up a tree, although I’m pretty certain that someone’s dumb cats and dog (probably ours) will knock down the tree, have a messy time getting away from it when I angrily stomp over to check out the damage, and then eat glass ornaments.  And probably die.  Worst Christmas Ever.

Still, I love Ikea.  Being there makes me realize that as content as I can be, I never have enough stuff.

ikeabirds