I have decided to quit my job to criticize “The Today Show” full time.  But to supplement the zero income that I will make from that I have decided to keep my job.

Nevermind why we watch it every morning.  Occasionally I chuckle at Matt Lauer or (swoon) Brian Williams* when he guest hosts.  When it comes to things like Olympics-mania and setting up tasteless jokes for Al Roker, “Today” is the best.  But generally it’s a cause for alarm, or a comment on commentary (I can’t remember if it was “Today” or “Inside Edition” that has supposed experts watching TV on screen and then giving a professional opinion.  I can do that, too!).  And Meredith Viera just seems mean now. Give Matt a break, woman.  No one wants to be there any less than he does.

If you get “Today” down to a bare minimum it’s only two mirrors facing each other and in the center is a seven-year-old who was mauled by a bear, or a celebrity whose source of fame is suspect.  And they both have swine flu.  And when they covered the Fort Hood shootings the other week it wasn’t because it was actual news, it was because Valerie Bertinelli had already been on that week and they had some time to spare. Oh, “Today.”  Mostly I tune it out but I pass by our TV on the way to the coffee pot.  I do like to shout “CHUCK TODD!” whenever his name is said, though.  And who doesn’t love Ann Curry?

* I think my husband is okay with my devotion (or as devoted one can be without watching “Nightline”) to Brian Williams.  His segment the other week on “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” was so funny.  Britunes!  It’s a thing! Check the link!