April 2010


I soaked Morningstar sausage patties in bacon fat to assist in making biscuits & gravy for the first time (the gravy part was the first).  It was nothing remarkable but it felt so wrong/right to do.

We saw the National on Friday night.  It was a good show but I am so tense from hating 80% of everyone in an audience these days that I forget to enjoy the actual event.  And that crowd wasn’t even annoying, at least not at all compared to the audience at Elvis Costello the following night.  Here is my impression of most of the people there: “What?  Elvis Costello is playing?  It’ll cost $40? What am amazing opportunity for me to get a gaggle of my friends together to shout at each other and play grabass while the band quietly reinterprets Elvis’s back catalog and other rock songs.  And when he plays a song I know I will hoot loudly and then return to making plans to go to Sine later.”   Get it together, my aunts and uncles —  I don’t know how you behaved at clubs on Grace St. in the ’80s but am I the only person who thinks that anything above whisper-shout at a concert is as rude as talking through a movie? I could barely hear him.  Grumble, grumble.

But to offset all that business, it has been a weekend of fun stuff.  Our pals Jess & Meredith came to visit and Jess brought us two boxes of Berger Cookies.  And today is our wedding anniversary and has been a day for us to sit down and reflect on all of the BBQ sandwiches I have eaten in the past year.  When I cry at movies I now cry a vinegar-based sauce if that’s any indication of how many it has been.  Also wedded bliss has not only brought me happiness beyond imagination but opportunities to do things like meet cool people who bring us Berger Cookies when they visit.

There are no longer two boxes left over, by the way.

My mom & I just finished a 36-hour shift reworking my garden (most of that time was spent at Ukrop’s and also in the house not doing anything in the garden).  However, after a long day of digging, planting, and fertilizing, behold, my garden:

Amazing, isn’t it?

Ok, fine.  That’s Lewis Ginter.  But we did a crapton of work in my front & backyard, and I killed dozens of cutworms.  I was going to take a picture of the pile I made of cutworms but then I smooshed them with my shoes.  I got brave enough to kill one with my gloved hands but the guts splattered on my forehead.  Gardening is beautiful.

So, here is a before and after of my back garden, which will soon be so pretty you will be like, “Kelly, can I rent your mom?”  No.

After years of weeding:

I spent most of my day grabbing iris bulbs from the dog’s mouth while my mom did all of the real work.  I thought that people who submitted photos of their homes to design blogs were just being cute by putting their animals in the pictures, but I cannot take a photo without Bunk popping up.  She just always manages to be where I’m pointing the camera.  She’s even managed to Photoshop her head onto old photos of the cats.

The Internet.  I have used you to rediscover so many things, and have marveled at how easy it is to find even the most obscure video/commercial/image.  But it wasn’t until I found this link through a link through a link that I realized Louis Theroux has no real presence online.  Other than low-quality clips and fan pages and links (but even I have those).  No official website, Facebook page, Netflix listing (though I suppose the BBC-uploaded videos on You Tube count, he probably works there now).  He had a show called “Weird Weekends” on cable years ago that was really good.  It was sort of like “This American Life,” but presented by a British documentarian.  He might still have it.  I DON’T KNOW.  It would require more than 40 seconds of internetting to get the real scoop, and who has time for that?

This clip is especially enjoyable to watch if you’ve ever stared at disbelief at a No Limit album cover.  The first link is a documentary he made about the Westboro Baptist Church, which is as fascinating to watch as it is infuriating.  Those jokers make Ken Cuccinelli look like ThoroughlyModern Millie.

A fun fact (if Wikipedia can be known for facts): he is cousins with actor Justin Theroux, who is best known for my associate’s inability to remember who he is despite the fact that at some point he was in multiple shows/movies that we watched recently.

Clash of the Titans

2.5 stars

They should make a ride out of this, then a movie, then a ride again.

I’m surprised Ian Mckellen didn’t play the Kracken.

If only CGI could make Sam Worthington more likeable.

Also, I’m nervous that I might accidentally agree to see “The Expendables.”  It looks like a movie that I made up just to make fun of Richard’s tastes in movies.  Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Sly Stallone, Eric Roberts, Jet Li — it’s the cinematic version of a hot dog.

(all of that couldn’t fit in a netflix note anyway)