October 2010


I probably won’t have time to mention this next month, but November marks the fifth anniversary of this blog, which is surely some sort of Internet record.  It’s especially remarkable to me because I could have sworn that people didn’t use the Internet five years ago.  My memories of 2005 involve communicating by shouting downstairs from my apartment to Susan to ask about Doritos, and screening calls on my landline telephone.  Though when I think about it some more I do remember e-mailing, cell phones, and Googling photos of Bollywood movie stars and printing them off on my modern dot-matrix printing machine.

I started Burgerphone with the intention of it being a cooking/eating blog, but it transformed to a “things that I do when I should be working on my graduate school homework” blog to the “I’m covered in cats and dog and I eat a lot on the weekends” bjournal that America celebrates today.

Burgerphone has been a detailed account of passions and pursuits of causes and issues that are important to me and people of my generation.  Things like, uh, recycling, constitutional rights, reform, causes and pursuits, being green, social networking.  Ok, none of that is true.  It’s been a self-centered platform about Netflix and music and food and friends and buying houses and making babies and going on vacations.  So, happy anniversary to me, and I hope to see you in five more years when I might have more babies, Netflix will stream instantly to my dreams, and my dog will no longer jump a six-foot privacy fence.

p.s. – “Burgerphone” was what a pal of mine called the phone line I should call when I felt like getting a cheeseburger.  I ate a lot of cheeseburgers back then.  I now only eat them occasionally, but I have recently been writing fan fiction about Chic-fil-a sandwiches, which doesn’t make me seem like I’m any healthier.  I love them so much.

From coolsofa.com

The AV Club is one of my favorite websites because it reviews/interviews things and people that I’m interested in and provides that bit of snarkiness that I’m trying not to project firsthand.  Also, the newswire updates brighten my day and Sean O’Neal is my favorite writer on the site — way better than that Nathan Rabin, who needs an editor and less regular columns.

The one thing about the AV Club that gets to me — other than the typos (which I’m not claiming to not have from time to time, but I’m also not being paid or nationally recognized) — is the comments section.  Just look through any of them and you’ll see that generally the content in the comments has nothing to do with the article.  It’s so bizarre to me that a website that is in tune to most of the things that I’m into pop-culture wise (the person who reviews “How I Met Your Mother” for TV Club is basically reading straight from my diary, where I also review HIMYM) is a dumbass-magnet.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt compelled to comment on any of those articles, but I can’t imagine what the people who do manage to post the worst things I’ve ever read are possibly thinking.  I guess they think they’re funny?  I can’t bring myself to read through them long enough to see if something relevant accidentally happens.  If I were to ever go back to school I would write a paper about comment culture.  OR I bet someone else has written it and I will bookmark it online and not read it.

Not all of the article comments have that same movie quote/disgusting insult thread.  The review of Fran Healy’s album actually had people commenting on how much they liked Travis.  Although I don’t buy new music anymore (unless the Beyonce album this past February counts) I kind of want the album because of the cover.  How ’70s does he look?  Or, more accurately, he looks like an artist who was big in the ’70s and this is his pretty okay 1984 release.

Perhaps the greatest joy of pregnancy (and possibly motherhood) is the necessity to make dozens of lists.  This soothes me.  Sure there are things that I can’ t plan for and it’s been good for me to learn that. But, man, the notebook I carry with my to-do, to-buy, and thank you lists is my best friend.  If I’m mugged on my way to the steps of my house I will not doubt protect the notebook along with my own life.

Now that there are four weeks left before my due date and the house is as ready as it can be, I’m focused on taking care of my associate and myself foodwise with a massive grocery list and a marathon session of cooking and baking to freeze for later.  It’s been said that people will bring us food, but I’ll be eating at home 11o% of the time for a while and I want to keep the kitchen stocked for  low-maintenance meals.

I have a handful of pretty good pantry meals that we have once a week, and love to find new things to make.  Raising a child will probably cut into the 40 hours a week I spend bookmarking recipes online, but I have found and tried a few new recipes that will be in the dinner rotation and will tide me over until I have spare time again.

Southwest Potatoes — I love corn/cheese/black beans in anything.  We like this dish with eggs on top.  It was a good way to use up the incredible amount of jalapenos that grew in the garden.  Good job, Bittman.

Black bean enchiladas — Corn, beans, and cheese?  Wha?  This lasted us for almost a whole week.  Richard made this in the oven and not the slow cooker.  I somehow managed to buy the smallest crock pot available, so it only comes in handy when I’m making tiny stuffed cabbages for when my miniature bridge group is hosted at my house (is that a thing?  I don’t know, I’m really tired all of the time).

Black bean and tomato quinoa — Great for your vegan dinner guests.  Try it with corn and cheese.

Basil tempeh — I tweaked this by adding sautéed green peppers and onion and then cooking the vermicelli with the leftover stock.  I substituted crushed red pepper for the chili peppers.  Thai Diner 3 up in my house.

Whole wheat brownies — Both times I’ve made this they’ve come out beautifully, and I accidentally ate the page from the magazine because I was so confused by how perfect the real ones looked.  Plus they’re, I don’t know, 100% healthier than normal brownies.

I will still welcome anyone who wants to bring me a pizza or macaroni and cheese while I’m out on leave.  Also, it’s the weirdest thing to me that I will not be at work for 9 weeks.  I will either kill my pets or learn to understand what their various cries and whines mean.  “I’m a jerk, wake up!” is currently my guess.

I have written a play about my three pets as roommates based on their general morning interactions.  There’s Milhouse, the 10-year-old who stays in her bed for so long that I occasionally poke her to make sure she’s not dead.  Ely has attention-seeking behaviors that causes everyone to ignore him.  And Bunk, the dog, just put your cell phone in her mouth. Go get it.

Here is the first and only scene (they don’t do much more than this):

Interior: Dining room

Two humans eat breakfast.  Milhouse sits in her cat bed by the window.  Ely stands up to put his paws on the chair where the bed sits.  Sensing movement in the house, Bunk runs into the room and barks.  Milhouse hisses at both.

Milhouse: Why are you on my bed?

Ely: Why am I on your bed?

Bunk: WHY AM I BARKING?

The end.

(we’re talking to Neil Patrick Harris about playing the part of Ely).