We have been parents for almost six months, five of which have been the best months ever (seriously, babies need to come out of the womb smiling.  It would make everything so much better).  I’ve been back to work all year, but I wish that maternity leave could be spread out over time so that I could be at home now.  I not only can’t keep up with what Netflix is cranking out, but I miss my daughter even more than when I first went back to work.  The weekends and a couple of hours on weeknights aren’t enough to feel like I’m staying on top of all she’s learning to do.  Scheduling visits (for all her Beliebers) and making sure that we get our own family time is like a part-time job.  I hate that our weekends are booked two months in advance.

Whomp whomp.  Anyway, every day with her is a blessing, or however the nonreligious should convey gratitude.   My heart has shoved out love for other things to make room for adoration of Toast.*  She reminds me of Taiko Drum Master.  When you’re playing a good game, cartoons of happy faces and stars and dancing cats shoot out of the drums.  That’s what I see when I see her:  a bunch of animated crap flying from her face.  I LUB HER.

I’m looking forward to the following things:

– Starting on solids, and having her sit with us at the table so we don’t have to take turns eating dinner in two minutes.

– Summer of swimming, which might include sunglasses, though I know enough about her to know that they won’t stay on her head for long.

-Warm-weather clothes.  Babies are cuter when they’re showing more skin.  There’s no non-creepy way to say that,  but it’s true.  Her dad has bought her two pair of shorts.  Shorts for a baby?  Now I’ve seen everything!

– Movement!  We are still only dog-proofed at our house, which is like being baby-proof but with sharp corners and tall CD towers that can be tipped over.  I’m in no hurry for her to crawl and walk because I enjoy this golden age when she is very fun and mostly immobile.  Since I can’t keep those crazy legs from moving, I am also looking forward to having her run and play and wrestle the dog.

– And, other things, like seeing our neighbor-parents, going to baseball games, attending two weddings in the fall with a near-year old, and learning how to efficiently bake and cook while taking care of a baby (which is difficult currently since I take twice as long as a recipe says that one should take, and she can only occupy herself for about ten minutes).

So much fun stuff ahead.  Difficult things will come, too, obviously, but those aren’t nearly as exciting to itemize.

*Most everyone who reads this knows the baby’s name and could find places online to see pictures of her.  I don’t know why I hold onto this sense of privacy that doesn’t exist, or what the actual fallout is of giving her a public, online presence.  I think it’s half not wanting strangers in her business, and half knowing that she is going to want to own her own experiences, and she should be able to control what her online presence should be.  It would not be fair of me to flood the Internet with her life when one day she might not want it there.  However, by the time she’s old enough to have her own computer, we’ll be living in a post-apocalyptic society where only the powerful have access to technology.  I’ll have wasted my time setting everything to “friends only” anyway.

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