I could draw the appropriate Post-it size illustrations to go with it, but I don’t have a scanner or the time to draw a turtle doing a bunch of things.  So as you read this just picture a turtle being depressed, determined, and then happy.


Mr. Turtle was on his way to the park and it was taking a long time.

All of his friends passed him.  Mr. Fox, Mr. Dog, Mrs. Abandoned Housecat, and Dr. and Mrs. Raccoon were all faster.

“Wait for me,” he shouted as they walked past him.

“No,” they said, “You are too slow, Turtle!  If we wait for you all the fun will be over.”

That night he tried everything to be faster.

He tried lifting weights (this illustration would have been funny), jumping rope, and eating protein shakes.  But when he got to the park the next day all of his friends were just leaving.

“We thought you would be faster today, so we waited for two hours,” they said.  “But you are just TOO SLOW, TURTLE!”

Mr. Turtle thought of other ways to be faster: roller skates, catching a ride on a cat tail, or getting a tiny car built for one turtle.  But it was no use.  With the economy the way it was, by the time he could afford roller skates all his friends would be dead.

The next day Mr. Turtle thought he’d try one more time to get to the park to play with his friends.  He got an early start, and by the time he walked the first block they had all gone past him.

“Too slow, Tur –” Mr. Fox started to say.  But before he finished he was shot through the neck.

Later the police questioned everyone at the park.  No one had seen anything.

Not Mr. Dog. Not Mrs. Abandoned Housecat.  Not Dr. and Mrs. Raccoon.

“We were just going too fast,” Mrs. Raccoon said.

“We’re you all going too fast?” the policeman asked.

Just then Mr. Turtle walked to the playground.  He was so happy to see everyone.  He finally got to the park in time to play with his friends.

“Hello,” said Mr. Turtle.  “Did you see that asshole Randy just shoot Mr. Fox?”

Everyone laughed.

“That happened hours ago.  You are too slow, Turtle,” they said.  “But you will be a key witness in a murder trial and will help bring a criminal to justice.”

Mr. Turtle was glad for once that he was too slow.  Though he felt uneasy about walking home alone so the cop gave him a ride.

I cannot wait to read this to all of your children.  My Mr. Turtle voice is super good.