I Wanna Be Your Suze Orman

(yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah*)

I have the reputation of being joyless and miserly, or at least not one to part easily with money (which isn’t totally true because what are pets good for if not a way to waste money?). However, I definitely save for a month to buy a $15 CD and things like that, so let me put this frugality to use for YOU. I am willing to start a talk show or podcast where people call me and ask if they should or should not buy something. I am a lot like Suze Orman except I wouldn’t recommend that you walk away from your mortgage. But I have a lot of the same outfits. Also: Don’t buy anything, you don’t need it.

Email Grabber

I have online profiles for about 400 things from yogurt websites to insurance plans I no longer have, and have no grasp on who I have given basic information to. I am going to team with a nerd to build a program that cracks into the internet and tracks down and possibly deletes those many emails and passwords we’ve all set up and don’t use. Although there is probably no harm in having that information out there I want it back. Also: Nerds wanted to create this! I will promote it on “I Wanna Be Your Suze Orman.”

*Sung to the tune of Sleater Kinney’s “I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone,” obviously.