I’ve flipped through a million magazines during my time on bed rest. My horoscope in Glamour magazine that I read on my first day of bed rest — when I knew I could be here for two months — was:

“Restless much? Change things up a bit by planning a mini road trip to try a new out-of-town restaurant or check out that art gallery that just opened. Whatever you do, ‘I’m bored’ is off-limits.”

aprilYeah. Shut it, Glamour magazine beauty issue. You don’t know me.

My May horoscope from Marie Claire was more relevant to my situation:

mayThat’s better. Though I hope that “power day” is powerful because I finally figure out how to change the cable channel that’s a webcam in the hospital chapel back to Comedy Central, which it should be according to the TV channel guide.

I don’t think about astrology unless I’m reading my horoscope, but I don’t consider it completely baseless. I am a classic Virgo. Mary Anne from the Baby-Sitter’s Club and I have the same birthday, and she and I were very similar (minus the being good at babysitting part). I’ve wondered before if babies who are born at a scheduled time and not when they naturally would have arrived grow up to be more complicated people if their star signs were manipulated.

Our child is going to be born more than a month before his/her due date, putting it under a completely different sign in the horoscope. I liked the original due date, as he/she would be in birthday company of some of my favorite people. Now I don’t know what to think. I’m guessing I won’t think too much about it. Unless this one turns out to be a sociopath and when I tearfully talk to the police after an incident, I’ll remember this.